My Four Year Parenting Anniversary

Today is my firstborn’s fourth birthday, or my four year anniversary of being a Dad. Those four years feel both like an eternity and a breeze in the wind all at the same time. Since my son first came into the world four years ago, we’ve added our first daughter to our home (who will be two next month) and a second little girl on the way. The last four years brought good days and bad days. On the one hand, I’ve stood in shock of a temper tantrum with such volatile flailing that you’d think the demons of hell have taken hold of this child. On the other hand, I’ve received more kisses, hugs, and I love you daddy’s than any heart could hold.

God has given me the gift of fatherhood, and with that comes the painful revealing of my own sin. Second only to my marriage, nothing reveals the sin of my own heart like fatherhood. Yet, God has sanctified me through the journey. I never realized how selfish I was until I had another human life depending on me. God has taught me to die to myself and to take on the form of a servant to my family.

However, the most overwhelming part of the parenting task, is the eternal ramifications at stake. Indeed, God has entrusted me not only with keeping these children breathing, but nurturing their souls. Compared to keeping them fed and alive, shepherding their souls is far greater challenge. My job as a Christian father is to both proclaim and model the Gospel to my children. However, my children are more apt to pick up their daddy’s patterns of sin than my meager godliness. Each day, my children develop their view of God from daddy’s example. Though they cannot yet read the Scriptures, they learn about God from daddy’s life and teaching. Knowing that such eyes keep watch protects me from thinking I’m ever “off duty” in the Christian life. Thus, I must be cognizant of the hypocritical life that could very well develop between my public persona as “pastor” and the personal persona as “father.” My children need a Father who lives his entire life under the banner of the all surpassing preeimence of Christ.

The Aim of Parenting

For parents out there, we must ask ourselves, “What is the aim of our parenting?” In other words, “Who are we trying to form these kids into being?” I’m afraid many parents greatly miss the mark on this. They are far more concerned about their children’s accolades and GPA rather than their spiritual formation. It’s good to want the best for your kids, and to give them every possibility imaginable, however what kids need more than anything else is a Mom and Dad devoted to Jesus and who centers their home upon Christ. Such children who grow up with parents who read the Scriptures, teach theology, and pray for their children, are blessed beyond measure.

Yet, the aim of our parenting points ultimately towards Christ and his glory. The greatest disciple making any of us will do will be with our children. As God gifts us with these precious children, we invite them to watch our life and our doctrine. We nurture them, love them, and weep over them, begging the Lord to save their souls and use them mightily for the advancement of the Gospel. Children are like arrows in the hands of a skilled archer. We raise them only to release them into the world, praying that the sharpening and training over two decades will bring glory to Jesus.

For me, these last four years of parenting have flown by, and even still I’m reminded of the ticking clock of how little time I have with my children. Every child’s birthday, I’m reminded of the urgency and importance of my work as father that will far exceed and outlast my work as pastor or scholar. May we parents resolve to honor God in our task and fully devote ourselves to the precious work of ministry called parenting.

What Super Bowl Marketers Know that the Church Can't Miss

The super bowl this year was one for the record books. People watch the super bowl for a variety of reasons – some for the game, others for the commercials, and some for the half time show. The super bowl has become such a huge event in America it is practically a national holiday. As I was watching the game something stuck out to me about the commercials this year. It seemed like many of the commercials strongly featured Dads.  A few different companies this year decided to market their products by featuring prominently fathers. It was nice to appear to the sentimentality and bring father’s in the focus, but why? No matter how great the commercial is, the aim is not to pull on your heart strings but to sell you a product. These companies don’t spend millions of dollars to just give you warm fuzzies. We live in a marketing world. We are always being sold something, and often marketers know our culture and know what makes us tick better than anyone. And this year, for Super Bowl 49, Dads were the focus of the commercials. Watch some of these commercials in case you missed them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bd1qCi5nSKw#t=58

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoqWo3SJ73c

Isn’t this strange? In a day and age where many are arguing to eliminate gender stereotypes and where Father’s living in the home is a relic of the past, these marketers decided they could best sell their products by bringing fathers to our attention. While the marriage between a man and a woman is being redefined in our culture into a genderless union and while the home has been shattered by divorce, these marketers feature loving, gentle, and present fathers.

There is a crisis of fatherhood in America. The traditional family of Dad, Mom, and children seems to be rapidly fading. Many men ignore, run away from, or deny any responsibility they have when it comes to their children. Rather than rising to be worthy of the title husband and father many men are content with the title “baby daddy”. Men refuse to fight for their marriages and for their families and cowardly run from difficulty indulging every selfish pleasure their hearts crave.

But that’s not the picture these advertisers presented to us at the super bowl. These advertisers know us better than we think. They know that there is something hard wired into humanity that longs to be loved by a father. We long to experience the warm protective, self-denying, embrace of dad. The picture of Dad they presented to us is the ideal we crave, but not this is not the reality for many of us.

Children need Fathers. Despite arguments trying to minimize the father in the family, marketers know what many deny – we long for a Father. These super bowl commercials point to the great challenge of Christian men to be father’s who sacrifice, love, protect, and provide for our children.  We need Christian men who can demonstrate in word and deed the love of God the Father to our children. Every human being longs for this. Though our earthly fathers may fail us, we must always point people to the Father who never does. We must point them to the Father who displays his lavish love for us by purchasing our redemption. America has a hole and a desperate longing for fatherly love. The marketers know this. Does the church?

Pastor Dad: The Honor, Joy, and Responsibility of Fatherhood

Dads are a big deal. In our society, when we are more confused about masculinity and manhood than ever, we need Godly fathers to step up and lead their homes. Today I'm celebrating my first father's day. It is my joy to be the father to my sweet son Jude. As I reflect on my first Father's day, I am critically aware of the huge honor, joy, and responsibility of fatherhood.

As a husband and father, God has called me to be the pastor of my home. He has called me to imitate Jesus by laying down my life for my family. It is my job to sacrifice and humbly lead. As I study the scriptures, it is clear that a father is to be a mini-pastor over his family. God has given him a small flock of his wife and children to shepherd, love, and protect. In our homes and in our churches we need a revival of Dad's who see their roles in their homes as pastors.

We need Dads who takes their responsibility as the spiritual leaders in their homes seriously. We need Dads who can take their wife and children by the hand and lead them in prayer. We need Dad's who are competent enough with the Scriptures to teach their children and correct them from error. We need Dad's who do not train a bunch of moralistic pharisees, but children wrecked by the grace of God.

At the end of the day I know that God is going to hold me accountable for the spiritual condition of my wife and children. It will be up to me to disciple them, lead them, and protect them. It will be up to me to teach Jude what it means to be a man and what it means to follow Christ. As the pastor of my home, I cannot delegate these responsibilities out to children's ministries or youth ministries.

We need more Dads to grasp this vision of biblical fatherhood. We need more Dads to step up and be pastors of their homes. Dad's, this is a daunting task you and I are called to do, and we are unable to do it apart from the grace of God. Seek His face, press into His word, and have confidence in Christ. By God's enabling grace, may Dad's rise to the glorious honor, joy, and responsibility of fatherhood. May we bring this next generation up in the fear of the Lord, and may our children and grandchildren praise our God and King, Jesus Christ! What greater joy and honor is there than to leave a lasting impact in the world through the discipleship of our children.  Dads, lets get to work and pastor our families.