Two Vital Relationships for Leaders

2779598066_647f7ae6d5_o It is often said that it is lonely at the top, especially in leadership. Often times this is very true, but most the times it is lonely because we want it to be that way. Many pastors and leaders intentionally alienate themselves from other leaders who can encourage them and love them. Often times leaders fail to make connection with other leaders outside of their organization for accountability and learning. In addition, most leaders tend to distrust building deep relationships with the leaders in their own organization out of fear of betrayl.

Isolation is a terrible thing for anyone, especially leaders. Many leaders build an emotional wall protecting themselves from the community and felowship that would bring them life and vitality. Isolation is the breading grounds for sin which often manifests itself when we are devoid of community. For a leader's own health and effectivness he must learn to surround himself with community outside the organization and inside the organization.

Developing Community Outside of the Organization

A leader must build relationships outside of his organization. For a pastor, it might mean meeting weekly or bi-weekly with other like-minded pastors for prayer and encouragement. For a business person it might mean networking and learning from people from other industries.

In my own life I've done this by meeting with a group of other student pastors every Tuesday morning for breakfast. These are other men in my city who have a passion for the Gospel of Christ and who are in the trenches of ministry dealing with many of the same issues I am dealing with as a leader. In addition to the plethora of wise counsel I receive from these men, we pray for each other and ecourage each other after a tough week.

People outside of our organization can perceive things that we are unable to see. They can be a neutral third party in dealing with a leadership dilema. They can be a sounding board of your latest idea or even a punching bag to vent about your latest frustrations. Devloping relationships with people outside of your organization is a key component to thriving as a leader.

Developing Community Inside the Organization

As a pastor, this one can often be very difficult to do. As a leader there is a tension between a courageous privacy and a humble openess concerning those in our own organization. We don't want to seem weak as a leader by laying all our junk on the table, but at the same time it is perlous to think of yourself as super man and present yourself that way to the leaders in your organization. No matter how hard you try to convince them you have the emotional callousness of a Vulcan and the Physical Stamina of Super Man, the people you lead know that is not true.

As I've become the Interim Senior Pastor of Forest Hills Baptist Church, there have been a wonderful group of men, our deacons, who have been a constant source of encouragement to me. They take care of me and minister to me in ways I don't even know I need. Even this past Tuesday at our meeting these men gathered around me, layed their hands on me, and prayed for me as I lead our church. Wow! That meant the world to me and it made me aware of this reality: We need leaders in our own organizations who can be our source of community and encouragement.

A Leader is Not an Island

You are unable to do everything on your own.  A leader cannot be effective as an island that is stranded all alone in the chaos of the seas. There is something beautiful about humanity in that we continue to need and depend on one another. A leader is not a solo-dicator robot walking around without needs or cares. No one wants to follow a robot, but they do want to follow a human being. They want to follow a courageous man who is willing to be served by other leaders. If you are a leader, look to build community outside your organization but also within your organization. You may be suprised just how life giving these relationships can be to your own leadership and your persuit of your vision.

How have you developed community outside of your organization? How have you developed it from within your own organization? Love to hear how you do this in the comments so we can learn from each other.